Since my last posting I have been too disgusted to put fingers upon keyboard. The noise from the creepy conservatives has been overwhelming my ability to have anything nice to say about them AT ALL! It’s not that I haven’t been lavish and effusive in my disdain over the time period I have engaged in blog writing, but I am trying this year to be a little more “fair and balanced.” You know what I mean. I have been trying to at least find some humor in their outrageous, loudmouthed spokespersons such as Limbaugh and Palin, but lately I have been suffering from a sense of humor crisis. They have ceased being funny to me and have become downright dangerous. And it’s not just their “leaders,” whoever that may be these days. The “tea parties” have unleashed the same crazies who attended Palin rallies.
I’m going to stay close to home – make that at home! We were treated this week by our governor, the Dishonorable Rick Perry threatening to secede from the United States of America. Well, that got my blood boiling unlike anything I’ve heard in a while. Isn’t this the same state that brutalized the Dixie Chicks for expressing embarrassment about President Bush? Doesn’t Rick Perry belong to the same Grand Old Party that labeled every attacker of Bush policy as unpatriotic and seditious? Isn’t this the same Rick Perry who begged the Federal Government to put troops on the Texas border with Mexico to protect us from the drug wars that rage across a narrow and shallow river sometimes spilling over onto our streets already? The answer to all of the above is yes! It is the same Perry who belongs to the same sore-loser party mentioned above. Now, he wants to pull his people, the people he is supposed to serve in their best interest, out of the good old USA. Isn’t that a declaration of war? Isn’t that sedition? Doesn’t that, at least, show a lack of patriotism? Once again, the answer is yes!
Now, for all of my crazy fellow Texans who think that Governor Perry might have something, let’s take a peek at the overlooked facts about our state’s associations with the Federal Government and what Perry is risking. I’ll selfishly start with my own greatest concern: Veterans Medical Centers in cities such as Houston, Dallas, and San Antonio. What does Governor Perry offer to the brave veterans of Texas in the way of healthcare once the USA closes down its Veterans Healthcare Centers in our state? And let’s talk about another bit of assistance the State of Texas enjoys from the USA. Go to San Antonio and look at all the military bases there. Some say the city owes its modern existence and economic strength to the Army and Air Force bases located there. There’s Fort Bliss in El Paso where I went for basic training when drafted into the US Army in 1968. It is a major part of the economy of El Paso. There’s the Naval Air Stations in Corpus Christi and Kingsville, Texas, not to mention the Naval Homeport located there. Those would be closed by the USA if we were to leave. Fort Worth has an Air Force base as well as Wichita Falls. And Killeen, Texas, would have no reason for being if Fort Hood was closed.
What about NASA? Do you think the government of the United States would control its space program from a foreign country? Doubtful! What about border control? I guess my old home state would become the new southern border – that is if they don’t follow their crazy Texas cousins – and the US Border Patrol would move its operations to Ardmore, OK to keep all us illegal aliens leaving Texas from becoming Red River “wetbacks!” What about all of those US Social Security pensioners who would suddenly not be citizens of the US? Might the US Government decide to cut off their Social Security benefits?
Here’s a fact. Texas is “governed” by a lean and mean state government under Republican management and has been for a good many years. It was the design of its founders when it was a newly formed Republic that it have a small and weak central government. Not much has changed over the years from 1836 to now. Tax stingy Texans have again and again refused to spend money on infrastructure, education and assistance for the less fortunate among us. Instead they have bought in to the Republican rhetoric that “no government spending is good spending.” So, before we bail on the United States of America, we better think long and hard about what the cost will be to us as a go-it-alone republic in a dangerous world. We would have to pay for our own border patrol – that is unless we want to have the Mexican drug cartels set their sights on the newly disorganized country to their north. We would have to pay for our own armed forces including weapons systems and facilities. Surely we are not naïve enough to think the Pentagon of the United States of America would leave their weapons behind for us to use against them. In addition to all of the afore-mentioned military bases and Federal security services, we would lose huge amounts of money for education and highway repair and construction.
And I have one more question for Governor Perry. How, exactly, would you fire the first salvo at the United States to signify our none-too-graceful exit? On the 14th anniversary of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in my hometown of Oklahoma City by a right-wing extremist, would you encourage by your reckless rhetoric a similar attack on a Federal Building in one of the cities of Texas? I think it is a fair question, Governor. What kind of crazy behavior are you enabling by a lunatic fringe on the right? I call you out on this, Governor Perry! Explain yourself, sir! What, exactly, are you calling for?
I’ll tell you what I’m calling for. I’m calling for your immediate resignation as the governor of my state! I would prefer to have Rob Blagojevich as governor. And if, as I suspect, you do not have the common honor to resign, I feel that it is time for your impeachment on the grounds of sedition against the United States of America. I’m serious! It is time for you and your sanctimonious Religious Right buddies to get down on your knees and repent your sin of pride! And if you are really in the kind of daily contact you claim with God Almighty, I’m sure He will guide you to do the right thing and resign. You are endangering the lives and well-being of those you serve. That is the exact opposite of your job description and the oath you took as governor. There is a reason that a mere 40% of Texas voters re-elected you as governor, and that reason is quite clear now. Time to say good-bye!
As my readers can clearly see, I have completely lost my sense of humor. And since I’m here already, I have a few well-chosen words for the idiots who took to the streets for those ridiculous “extemporaneous tea parties.” GO BACK TO WORK WHILE YOU’VE STILL GOT A JOB! I have written about my crazy aunt Eunice in the past, and here she is again front and center along with her children. They were out there on April 15th in Oklahoma City, ranting and raving as usual. Here’s the rub. Aunt Eunice is receiving monthly welfare checks and food stamps. Her son is a tax-paid officer with the Oklahoma City Police Department. And her dear daughter, a truly sweet woman who is the dimmest bulb in a pack of 10-watt light bulbs, works for – wait for it! – The Oklahoma Tax Commission, as an – get this! – auditor! You know, you just can’t make anything this good up. Well, you could, but I didn’t have to.
Wait! There it is. It’s back. In the idiocy of my own hypocritical conservative Okie family, I have once again found my sense of humor. Welcome back, old friend. Boy, have I missed you. (I’m not a schizophrenic with borderline personality disorder, I swear it.)
Anyway, in a tribute to one of my favorite bloggers, Helen, over at Margaret and Helen, I say to all those crazy creepy conservatives out there, “SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP!” We’ve all heard what you have to say, and we still don’t like it. Go home or go to work or wherever it is you belong, but leave us alone. We don’t like you and don’t want to play! And one last thing: You’re ugly, and your mother dresses you funny!